Learning to Love Correction

•October 29, 2010 • Leave a Comment

by Josh Harris

Reasons why we reject correction and instruction:
1. Imperfections of the people pointing out your mistakes.
2. Their observations about ourselves are not 100% accurate.
3. Their reproving process was not handled right (i.e., wrong tone, wrong timing, bad attitude).

“The heart of a fool can always find an excuse for ignoring correction.”
The wise person will grab a hold onto that one grain of truth midst all errors.

How do you response humbly?
Proverbs 9:10 “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.”
Ultimately, it’s about our knowledge and view of God.  The whole point of proverbs is fearing Him, and fearing the Lord means believing His will, His words, His purposes are what is most important.  It’s coming before the Lord and saying, “You are right, and I am not.”  We need to see the connection between this posture before God and receiving other people’s correction.  Do you realize that the cross is reproof for us?  It tells us that we are sinful and cannot ever make ourselves right before God.  Yet, in that correction is the greatest news of redemption.  Let other people’s correction help draw us closer to the cross.  Receiving correction and reproof gives life and greater fellowship with God.

•August 27, 2010 • Leave a Comment

jadedness and bitterness.
These two have got to be the worst feelings in the world.
I’d rather hate something with passion.
loneliness comes a close third, but at least there’s some sort of sad beauty to it.

my life is a korean drama

•December 28, 2009 • 1 Comment

A confession:
In the last 3 days, I’ve watched 13 episodes of Meenam Eeh Shinae Yo.
I thought I quit this business, but I guess my korean roots never wither.

I’ve found what influence this kdrama has on me:
– I started to talk to myself and think outloud.  Every actor in this drama talks to him/herself a LOT.  I thought, “who does in that in real life?”  then next thing i know, I’m in the car/shower/bed mumbling and asking questions to myself -.-
– I want to be in a fobby relationship.  They make it seem all so fun. and how the heck do korean girls cry so sad and pretty?
– I think of songs to match my mood… to have a soundtrack to my life.

Those are the 3 embarrassments I choose only to reveal.
I’ll snap back to reality soon..

but after the last 4 episodes.

Julie & Julia… and David

•December 18, 2009 • Leave a Comment

I watched this movie today, Julie & Julia.  Got somewhat good ratings, featured Meryl Streep, an actress I semi-like. Meryl Streep is someone I would like to admire and respect for having class, maturity, and talent, but every single time I see her perform on screen, whether it be as the Devil who wears prada, the prudent Catholic school nun haunted by Doubt, or an author with a secret, always has this 1% of lack that leaves me applauding yet wishing I could be more genuine in doing so.

Julie & Julia had two women–Julie and Julia, of course–who talk smartly girly.  Everything they had to say, intended/unintended, had precision and wit, in a way that if a guy spoke like it, he would be categorized flamboyant (gah.. categories!). and YES, thats what I felt like watching it: smart and girly.

Eh. Not writing to critique the movie, but about my feelings toward Julie, a character Julie, a 29-year-old turned 30, going through this phase of worthlessness in life, a worthlessness not in style of deep reflection or depression but a worthlessness in a very normal way.  She’s bored with her mundane job, her ugly kitchen, and her lack of opportunities.  It becomes apparent when she’s just complaining to her husband about the new apartment and when she wallows in insecurity when her girlfriends are complaining–when they’re really bragging–about their corporate jobs, etc.  I was just annoyed with her character a quarter of the way into the movie, and the feeling was never relieved through the end of the movie.  She was so whiny and frustrated and self-absorbed… and then she makes up this imaginary relationship with Julia Child (Meryl Streep),who in 1949 published a cook book, and eventually gets “saved” through cooking.  Her husband more annoyingly assured her, “No, you saved yourself!”

I guess what irritated me about it all was that she was so normal.
She wasn’t a villain. She wasn’t caricatured.  She wasn’t a stereotype.  She was a normal city girl, a daughter with a nagging mother, probably an A- idealist in college, who probably tried to put her writing to use, who then in her 20s probably didn’t get the job she wanted.  She’s someone that everyone can identify with.. heh that I can identify with. HA! There it is. I’m really annoyed with Mr. jungpaO chicken.  I complain. I whine. I am self-absorbed.  all of which my good friend pointed out as “just plain disgusting.”  and no this isn’t humility because I say it with flare and discontentment instead of mourn.

Doesn’t everybody want to have that one thing they can be good at?
I don’t think people usually want to be a master of all trades.. a Renaissance man. Usually, it’s one talent, such as the guitar, basketball, cooking, or that one character, such as being a good friend.. a good parent, humor, logicality, being a deep thinker, being honest, etc.  For Julie, it was cooking and writing.  For me, it was dance and being a good Christian.  And really isn’t this what our education system is designed for us to do?  Up till college, we are forced to develop our skills in the basic several: math, english, science, sports, arts, etc.  Then college is all about picking the right major that you can feel confident about and do that for the rest of your life.
And usually.. usually.. it’s only when other people recognize the person for this one thing.. does the person feel confident and content.  People–and oh how I am involving myself in this despicable category–love to be labeled as “that guy who plays music real well,” “that girl who is so cheerful,” “that guy who is a ‘cool nerd,'” “that girl who can make really good cookies,” “that guy who is so mysterious.”

I’ve been reading Tim Keller’s book over again, and from what I inferred and applied is that this is a way of finding our identity.  If we make this one talent/that one gift into an ultimate thing… that’s who and all that we become.
You’re a good student?  That’s all that you are, a student.  You’re so good at basketball?  That’s all who you are, a basketball player.  You’re so good at logic and thinking?  That’s all that you are.. a thinker.. doesn’t have an effect on anyone whatsoever.  For Julie, she became a good cook and a good writer.  But her role as a daughter.. as a wife.. was mediocre at best and worse.. not cherished for its worth.  She.. in all her girlish ways.. was so normal…! gah! i’m stilled annoyed at it. What if her tongue stopped functioning, and she lost her sense of taste? hahahahaha it’s over!  and death? then everything’s over.  forget anything that you built for yourself.

I didn’t intend to bring God into this post, but this post has cornered me into it… eh, a lot of my co/self-conversations do.
This.. all in all.. is idolatry.. I guess it’s something I’ve been learning and not applying lately. Romans 1:23.. when we exchange the glory of God for that one field of expertise.. that one talent.. that one gift.. and that becomes our god.. and the result? that’s what we become.. we assume the idol as our identity… we lose our true identity.. that true wholeness of self that has so many facets, all of which are harmoniously in sync with each other, that complement and deepen other.. all that is so much richer than that one blessing… all that which comes from finding the identity in the Infinite.  No. we’ve lost it. I’ve lost it.  and the only hope we have is being restored and redeemed.

heh. julie and julia.. and freakin hollywood that makes their delusion possible.

•December 1, 2009 • 1 Comment

Class of 2010

•November 29, 2009 • 1 Comment

Disclaimer: I’ve been caffeinated all day.. been sipping coffee from a new vacuum mug that keeps the liquid the same temperature for many hours… i didn’t believe it.. but it really works! So I hope my reflections here is actually me talking.. and not this diuretic stimulant.

This was the best thanksgiving break in the last 4 years of college. twas nothin fancy though.
The time between summer break and Thanksgiving break is usually the longest I stay away from the city I was raised in.
Each time I come down, I think I gain a new perspective on the people here, and I thank God that it’s with more understanding and love though I’m a major pessimist and misanthrope by nature.
I also noticed how I’ve been identifying more with my home in norcal… Instead of callin’ my LA Church.. my “home church”… I call it my “parents’ church.”  I’ve gotten a few questions from people also asking if I like socal or norcal better… I say norcal now… dang.. i used to have so much socal pride and hated it up there.
I again brought all my textbooks. Didn’t open 3 of them and barely worked with one. sigh*  Next two weeks will be finals frenzy. I was so determined this break, but my trend has remained unbroken without fail each year.
Something about the cozy and warmness of the home stunts my work ethic… or is it the chill socal vibe?.. hah its just my laziness. alright alright.

Other than that though, I’ve been so encouraged in unexpected ways by the people here.
My parents.. my high school friends.. the people at my church.
They all seem to be growing, learning, softening… and i see that it’s not anything inherently in them, but God’s sovereign work.. and divine appointments.. etc…. just observing, I’ve been even indirectly, subtly rebuked by their child-like faith and outward focus.
I also got to think and reflect a lot.  Sometimes, I’m scared to reflect.. don’t want to be overtaken by this cursed mind… but after emailing with Junia about the importance of writing (with the pen) in our lives.. I was once again convinced of my want/desire/and need (perhaps) to journal.  I’ve taken it up once again… and have allowed myself to come to conclusions after systematically organizing words.. syntax.. etc.

Nonetheless,
I’m excited to see my friends and Evangel family up north. really don’t deserve them.
I’m sure there will be some bonding over all-nighters and energy drinks taha.
Common suffering indeed brings the people together.

A Psychologist’s Dream

•November 26, 2009 • 3 Comments

The other night I had a solemn, reflective dream, in which I met myself in child form.
I saw myself in the form of a baby (perhaps of 12 months). He was wearing blue and he looked back at me so innocent and curious.
I looked at him intently and thought, “Dang he’s not as cute as I thought.  And he has some fat cheeks.”
I then picked him up and held him in my arms.

Is this the ultimate form of narcissism? Or wouldn’t psychologists love to take this dream and say that I am finally embracing my inner child or that I am coming to terms with my past? PUAH.
It was definitely a dream of a different category for me though.. somewhat amusing.